tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046663689477874544.post6998176704318783277..comments2023-11-05T05:01:58.563-05:00Comments on Ward Six: Hairsplitting to the finish lineUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046663689477874544.post-65884403045497615022008-07-06T12:16:00.000-05:002008-07-06T12:16:00.000-05:00Dude, we're just working with what you gave us!Dude, we're just working with what you gave us!rmellishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03133206908895131438noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046663689477874544.post-14463168646216230662008-07-05T22:07:00.000-05:002008-07-05T22:07:00.000-05:00Except that...the real line does not have a quest ...Except that...the real line does not have a quest in it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046663689477874544.post-77349164290601622008-07-05T16:25:00.000-05:002008-07-05T16:25:00.000-05:00I agree with Rhian. Not only iambic, but contains ...I agree with Rhian. Not only iambic, but contains both a hard and a soft consonant. The other two contain only one or the other, which is why I think they sound off.zhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09122657170192207225noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046663689477874544.post-76691903746199445172008-07-05T15:53:00.000-05:002008-07-05T15:53:00.000-05:00My name is usually pronounced kind of like REE-en....My name is usually pronounced kind of like REE-en. In Welsh it's a little different, but I'm not about to make everyone say it that way. I don't even notice the variations anymore...<BR/><BR/>I still think the line should have been "began my quest." Tidier, and also iambic!rmellishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03133206908895131438noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046663689477874544.post-60584565768010505842008-07-05T12:19:00.000-05:002008-07-05T12:19:00.000-05:00JR: I love the line, but others probably won't be ...JR: I love the line, but others probably won't be impressed, especially taken out of context. So I'll just email it to you instead.Petehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13679678856824675642noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046663689477874544.post-60645207908187693852008-07-05T09:47:00.000-05:002008-07-05T09:47:00.000-05:00The carburator doesn't need replacing--the real se...The carburator doesn't need replacing--the real sentence (and it doesn't say "quest") is doing what it needs to do. At least to my satisfaction. I just want it to do what it's doing correctly...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046663689477874544.post-29247235015722463962008-07-04T22:55:00.000-05:002008-07-04T22:55:00.000-05:00Rhian--Does that rhyme with Ian or Dianne or Mayan...Rhian--<BR/><BR/>Does that rhyme with Ian or Dianne or Mayan?<BR/><BR/>Never mind.<BR/><BR/>Of course you're right about the bomb effect at the end of the sample sentence ending with the shot wife. And that only emphasizes how sentences, no matter what they look like in isolation, are parts of a context that governs whether they are appropriate or disastrous or tone-deaf or lame. <BR/><BR/>It may be that the quest sequence approximates perfection in any of its three permutations in jr's novel. I'll have to buy the book to see. I only meant to draw attention to elements in the sentence beyond the words and syntax and to suggest that in revision, often we need to stop fine-tuning and consider replacing the carburetor now and then.Rayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17013622015251884893noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046663689477874544.post-59511461035374417792008-07-04T12:30:00.000-05:002008-07-04T12:30:00.000-05:00jr: You're right in that all three versions are es...jr: You're right in that all three versions are essentially the same and that the differences have to do with the nuances of sound rather than the nuances of meaning, for various boring reasons I won't go into, each one compromising one way or the other. So shuffling them around is indeed a distraction from finishing and noticing the chasm over which your measly rope is hanging.xhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17866348942612559536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046663689477874544.post-78210329480297613812008-07-04T10:01:00.000-05:002008-07-04T10:01:00.000-05:00I love the "shot my wife" sentence. That's a story...I love the "shot my wife" sentence. That's a story I want to read.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046663689477874544.post-62419503558944389692008-07-04T09:14:00.000-05:002008-07-04T09:14:00.000-05:00Actually, Ray, I kind of like the sequence ending ...Actually, Ray, I kind of like the sequence ending with "shot my wife." Putting the weight at the end is like a little bomb going off...rmellishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03133206908895131438noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046663689477874544.post-90789814414995628342008-07-04T08:08:00.000-05:002008-07-04T08:08:00.000-05:00I've always had an aversion to using the same word...I've always had an aversion to using the same word too much. Sometimes it's silly, like seeing 'said' too much. That's in prose.<BR/>In poetry I love repetition and use it over and over.<BR/>Lately, though, I've been writing drama and it seems as though I am freed from these tendencies because listenable dialogue has its own logic and the words kind of dictate themselves. <BR/>Oh and I would never use the word 'quest' in any context. Never cared for it.OutOfContexthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07680135979505561010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046663689477874544.post-289957730211650582008-07-03T20:13:00.000-05:002008-07-03T20:13:00.000-05:00Very nice. You people continue to post interestin...Very nice. You people continue to post interesting and thoughtful pieces. Thanks.<BR/><BR/>Now, that sentence. As it stands, it links three elements grammatically that may not have equal weight. Going outside and sheathing a scabbard are business. Starting a quest is, well, a big deal. <BR/><BR/>"I cooked dinner, washed the dishes, and shot my wife." No, that's not right. <BR/><BR/>That ought to give you something to think about until the proofs arrive.<BR/><BR/>RayRayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17013622015251884893noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046663689477874544.post-21371692492041296332008-07-03T19:38:00.000-05:002008-07-03T19:38:00.000-05:00Warren, I agree. But for me, admitting the inhere...Warren, I agree. But for me, admitting the inherent imperfection of the work is a necessary step...it's just finding the right variety of imperfection that's the challenge.<BR/><BR/>Personally, I never have a stopwatch going, but I do usually have another idea waiting for the current one to move over...<BR/><BR/>Pete, what's your great line?!?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046663689477874544.post-87543443069811544612008-07-03T14:48:00.000-05:002008-07-03T14:48:00.000-05:00Carefully chosen words are our gateway into the im...Carefully chosen words are our gateway into the imagination. And writing a novel is an act of creation that cannot be measured by a stopwatch.Warren Adlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13960431327727799196noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2046663689477874544.post-29183339761925082572008-07-03T13:49:00.000-05:002008-07-03T13:49:00.000-05:00Beautiful post - and after just finishing the thir...Beautiful post - and after just finishing the third draft of my novella and being in revision mode for the last few months, I know exactly what you mean. Balancing that fine line between getting sentences just right (not necessarily perfect, but good enough to finally finish the damn book) is one of the maddening things about writing fiction.<BR/><BR/>And fortunately for me, the last line is my favorite one in the entire book. No revision necessary, or at least not until an editor gets involved.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com